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Shortly about perfection

Yup, i totally agree.

Still, everyday I see others attempts to fit in and be ‘perfect’. People need to understand that no one’s perfect and that’s perfectly fine. We all need to embrace ourselves.

I know I’m far from being perfect but you know what? I’m not my road of loving myself!

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BULLYING

Steve was a shy boy but very talented. He didn’t have many friends but he was okay with that. His favourite activity was reading because he dreamt of becoming a writer one day. Yet, for no apparent reason at all, his classmates decided he was a ‘freak’ and started teasing him. The conclusion-Steve committed suicide.

Another victim was named Annie. Compared to the girls from her class she wasn’t pretty. At least that is what her classmates have been telling her since 1st grade.They called her fat and ugly. And she got herself into anorexia which is like everyone knows an enemy for a life.

 

These are 2 extremely short stories I made up but the moral is huge. I don’t know about teenagers’ situation in foreign countries but in Lithuania there are lots of people who get bullied every day. Some of them even suicide because they can’t take the pain of teasing. Luckily, I wasn’t bullied but you don’t have to experience that to know how wrong it is, right? So with this post I just wanted to say that this has to stop. I urge you to be tolerant and open-minded and don’t judge people. The end.

 

P.S. Don’t judge a book by its cover!!!

Stereotype #2 (Boys don’t cry)

It is widely believed that men don’t cry. I don’t really know why people spread this idea. Both females and males are people with the emotions which sometimes take over. So why it is said that boys don’t cry?

Perhaps I would have never thought that this statement is not true, if I haven’t seen the scenery of men crying. My daddy and my godfather got extremely emotional at funeral of my cousin. Both of them were crying and it broke my heart so much seeing my beloved men crying. As far as I know my godfather isn’t ok even after 2 years from the funeral. But it’s not surprising. How can you be fine then your kid is dead?

Men show their emotions not only then they’re sad. I remember waking up early one hot summer day and riding to my uncle’s house in order to celebrate his birthday. The last time I saw him was 3 years ago, I suppose. And then me and my family knocked at his door he was at least surprised. After lots of hugs and ‘I haven’t seen you for so long’ statements, tears started streaming from his eyes. Little did I know he loved all of us so much. It was a bit crazy seeing my uncle crying but that taught me not to laugh when people get emotional.

With this post I wanted to break the stereotype called boys don’t cry. They do cry. They are people and at times they also can’t control their feelings. And that’s totally fine.

Stereotype #1(Muslims are terrorists)

I’ve talked to many people in my life. Some of them were really charming and clever, some, however, were so dumb I wanted them to vanish out of my life. Easy to say, hard to do when those people are, for instance, your classmates and so on. People say many things but what hurts me as a person is stereotypes and superstitions. Let’s talk about that.

I still don’t understand how people can divide other human-beings into groups. We are all equal and no one doesn’t have any right to judge other people. Still, it happens.

For example, many people claim that Muslims are bad people. In my opinion, religion does not define people. Sadly, the majority of non-Muslim people are strongly affected by the media. No one can deny the fact that thee are Muslims who are terrorists but that doesn’t mean that all of the people who pray to Allah are bad. Besides, there are thousands of non-Muslims who commit crimes but that also doesn’t mean that all of the people are bad.

In my view, every person is good. Unless he starts spreading bullshit, bullying and stereotyping people. Then, I think, he becomes bad.

All in all, let me tell you once again(and keep this in mind forever) religion doesn’t define people. Who we pray to is our own business and religion has nothing to do with being good or bad. Most of the times, it’s our choice whether to be good or bad. 

The price of being perfect

You have to be perfect to fit in. This could be the motto of contemporary society. The media tries to convince us that beautiful means a slim person with a pretty face. I’m actually disgusted to live in this kind of world. Can beauty be defined?

When we were little girls me and my cousin(let’s call her Ivy) used to watch what is now called TV junk. We were absorbing all the news about beauty contests and so on. When we got older(I think I was probably 14 and Ivy was 13) I asked my cousin what kind of job she would like to have in the future. She said she wanted to become a model. I was pretty shocked because I thought our ‘beauty contest’ era was over. Oh dear, I was so wrong.

What happened next? After some failed attempts to fit in the modelling industry Ivy was advised to lose some weight. Seriously? She was always skinnier than me and I was ‘too slim’ according to some people. That was the time when she had to stop it. She didn’t. Instead, she was on diet and all she ate was apples. She lost a lot of weight and was always complaining about endless headaches. When doctors checked her they told her parents nothing was wrong which meant the problem was somewhere else. Later Ivy confessed me that she knew what was the problem-she wasn’t eating but she felt guilty because her parents had to pay not so small amount of money.

I don’t know the whole story of how she managed to overcome the obstacles and feel happy again. All I know is that I’m scared because she’s in the same fashion business. Many people would probably say that I’m jealous but to be perfectly honest I’m not. What is the problem then? I don’t want her to feel not good enough, not slim enough. I want her to know what all she is is enough. And beautiful. So, she doesn’t need to change.

If you asked me if I had problems with fitting in, I’d say yes. A lot of problems. Firstly, I was always short and my biggest irritation was seeing everyone growing up. Everyone, except me. I used to hate myself. Because of my height, my weight which was normal I’d say now but at that time I felt fat. I hated myself for not being pretty. I used to cry myself to sleep sometimes because the society has defined what is pretty. I didn’t fit in. Also, I had my opinion but I never voiced it because, according to some members of our society, only the pretty will be listened to.

After some years I found myself becoming more talkative and braver person. I wasn’t afraid of speaking publicly and saying my opinion, I was more confident. To my utter astonishment, I noticed there were more changes. I actually thought that I was cute. For the first time! Then some guys noticed me and so on.

My road to understanding the beauty has been long. I had my ups and downs and I was constantly thinking what is beautiful. I found put that every person is beautiful. And it doesn’t matter where you come from, what’s your skin colour, whether you’re short or tall, slim, a bit fat or obese. You are beautiful.

Unfortunately, TV and magazines have formed  wrong understanding of beauty. Beauty is not only on the outside, it’s also in the inside. How you act, walk, speak, smile is beautiful. Your good deed are beautiful. And if you ever feel like you’re not good enough or you’re not perfect, just forget that. A human is a perfect creature with its flaws but having flaws or not fitting in doesn’t mean you’re not perfect. You are perfect to your parents, relatives and friends. You are the only you and no one can ever replace you.:)

Remember everything that matters is usually hidden inside.

And here’s some inspirational pictures:

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Honour brings dishonour

The last months of my live I’ve been incredibly busy. Mostly, preparing for my upcoming exams which have been making me nervous since September, I guess. But right now I found a spare time, a free minute to stop and enjoy life as it is. At the moment I’m sitting and writing this and I am also enjoying probably the most delicious thing ever invented- ‘Bounty’. As I’m sitting on my comfortable sofa I am thinking about our world. It’s a good place to live, no doubt, but a few things make it hard to live here. Bullying, money-making minds, crimes, poverty and many more things do exist in our society. But today, I’d like to introduce you to a phenomenom which is not widely known or understood in West but it is done and justified in the East. 2 words. Honour killing.

As you google ‘honour killing’ you can find a lot of stories and they will definitely break your heart. I first heard about these crimes when I was 13 and I was disgusted that it happens in twenty first century. Ever since I was interested in honour killing.

Honour killing is a relative homicide(pervaded mostly in Muslim community) due to belief that a person has brought shame and dishonour to a family or community. I’ve read many stories in which I was trying to find the reasons why the victim was killed. The most common reason is falling in love or wearing clothes which are ‘not right’.

I have been searching an answer to a question ‘What do Muslims think about that?’. As I expected, I have found many posts saying that it is brutal and it is a crime. I haven’t found anything bad, I mean I haven’t found a single post claiming that honour crimes should be justified. And yet, it happens. Here are examples of women who have been tortured or/and killed.

Firstly, I would like to begin with Souad from Palestine. Now she is an adult woman who may not be anyhow different from any other woman in this world. However, she is. She was 17 when she fell in love with her neighbour who was a bit older than her. Unfortunately, their love couldn’t be legal and seen because in most Muslim countries, including Palestine two people can show their love only if they are married. Souad had an older sister and it meant she had to wait until her marriage to marry her beloved good-looking neighbour. To make a story shorter I can say that Souad’s lover used her and later she got pregnant. Sadly, her family noticed that and they decided to kill her. Yes, she was not married, yes, she got pregnant, but is it enough to kill? Your own daughter? Of course, NO. So, as I stated earlier, they decided to kill her in order to bring back their ‘honour’. She was fired alive. Luckily, she survived! And she wrote a book about her experience(‘Burned alive’, search it up on the Internet and please, read it. So that you would understand what happens in our world). I admire Souad so much, she’s a strong woman who gave a birth to 3 amazing children but unfortunately, her death was craved even by her own true-blood mother. She gives me hope that someday it all can be changed.Image

Another woman who has affected me is Mukhtar Mai. She was born in a small village of Pakistan which was far from civilization. She was loved by her parents and fortunately, they never wanted to kill her. But in the village where she lived she was seen as the woman who can take responsibility for her brother crime which he didn’t even commit. She was raped by 3 or 4 men. Mukhtar wanted to commit suicide and I completely understand her but I’m glad she didn’t do that. Instead, she raised her voice about the crimes which are being done in Muslim countries and stood up for Pakistani women. As well as Souad, she put her experience in a book named ‘In the name of honour’. She’s my hero.  Image

As you may predict, not every woman survives. For instance, Shafilea Ahmed. She was a Pakistani girl who lived in England. I don’t really know why she was killed but some sources claim that she was killed because of her disobedience. Well, you know, she was aged 17 and she lived in England, she wanted to enjoy her life. Is that a reason for killing? Hell NO.Image

I am trying not to cry but eventually I fall apart. My European mind can’t seem to understand why. Why does it happen in twenty first century? Why did it have to happen at any century?

Sounds strange, but I want to meet those killers. I crave for a glance; I want to look them in the eyes and tell them how much I hate them. I want to know if they’re proud of that they have done. I wanna know if they can still sleep at night. Or does both the crime and a victim haunt them? But most of all, I want them to understand that they have done is brutal, unacceptable; I want them to understand and feel guilty. More. I want them to feel what those poor girls did feel. I know it’s nit right,but I can’t help it.

I admire those girls and women who were killed or survived. I know it’s strange-sounding but that is exactly how I feel.

THIS HAS TO STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. The killers should keep in mind: what goes around, comes back around.

In conclusion I would like to share some pictures of our cruel world.

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It’s been almost 2 years since my awesome trip to Turkey. Even through it is spring I wouldn’t say that spring has came to my country. It’s still cold and the snow hasn’t gone.

So today I was sitting in my class and I realised what I was gone. My body was there in a classroom but my mind was somewhere else. I found myself thinking about summer, Turkey and the heat which made me happy everyday then. While I was re-living Turkey events I started thinking about why people hate Muslims, This post is going to be about West and East, Christians and Muslims and Muslims against the world.

The first thing that I want to remind is that people are different and that is the reason why our religions may not match perfectly with others. But is it so different? Both Christianity and Islam claims that there is only one God. Christians pray to Jesus while Muslims do the same to Allah. People who say that Islam is a bad religion should seek more information about it. I am not Muslim myself but I am really interested in Islam. As a consequence I can tell you that Islam claims and tries to save the main values. For example, Muslims really love their families and they try to be with their relatives as much as possible. The majority of Muslims think that the most important thing in life is family. It is also the biggest value.

Secondly, many people say that the position of women in Muslim countries is awful. Well, it’s not so. Ok, maybe those women don’t have as much rights as non-Muslim women do. But they are respected. Have you ever heard about grandmothers or mothers in Muslim countries? They are respected very much because they gave a life, a birth and also it is said that a woman is weaker than a man. That’s why you’d be in bad situation if you said something bad about Muslim’s mom, sister, cousin and so on. They defend their women. And yet, women are not that free as women in the West. For instance, take a look at Saudi Arabia. Women are not in a good situation but at least they are being watched which means they are taken care of.

It is widely believed that Muslims are not free to choose. Well, you’re dead wrong if you think so. Muslims are the same as other people meaning they are free to choose where to live, what to eat and so on. They are even free to choose if they want to believe in Allah, Jesus or any other God, they can even be atheists. Don’t believe me? I will give you some evidence. For example, Turkey. It is considered to be a Muslim country then in reality in the Constitution it is written what a person has the right of freedom for religion. It shows what Muslims are free to choose. They are free people.

I guess many people don’t like Muslims because they try to spread the ideas of Islam and people get confused; they think that Muslims are trying to make them to convert. The truth is what Muslims are happy with their religion and they are not trying to force anyone to convert, they are trying to show what Islam is not that bad. Not all of the Muslims are terrorists just like not all of the Christians are angels.

To sum up, I would like to say what religion doesn’t make people good or bad. It depends on people. There are many bad people in this world and they come from different continents, countries and religions but I believe that there are millions of good people in our world. We are a big society with different religions, unique traditions and manners and our mission is to get along. If we manage to do that, we will have a world which could be described as ‘a perfect place to live in’.