When your heart breaks

I’m sitting here in my room and I feel nothing but sadness. There’s a big vacancy in me and I don’t know if that could ever be changed.

I just got back from vacation abroad. This is one of the reasons why I’m sad. Everything went great on my vacation but then I had to leave. It was inevitable(unfortunately). I just feel like I want to live freely but for some reason I can’t. And then, on vacation, I did what I wanted to and it felt great. Being yourself. But I know that life does go on and i can’t be too miserable for too long.

Another thing, the main reason for my pain, is that I feel like I have just ruined my perfect relationship with my friend and my could-have-been-boyfriend. What I mean is, I’ve known him for over a year and we were so close and sincere to each other. We shared our everyday lives and news and everything. And now it’s (probably) over.

‘What happened?’, you may wonder. Well, we didn’t have an argument or anything like that. I got accepted into university of my dreams and I was so happy. He was too. Until I told him what my plans were. He is a foreigner and I am fascinated by his county’s culture, language and everything in particular. So i thought what it would be cool for me to learn his native language so we could speak it as well.

He was shocked when I told him this. He got furious and I knew from that moment that nothing is gonna be like it used to. Although, it sounds silly(I mean we almost started a war caused by the language), it does break my and I bet his heart. I fell awkward, like I took something that was only his. I wish I could take it back.

I hope we’ll talk it out. I don’t wanna lose a friend because of a language!!

Sometimes, it’s better to keep your mouth shut.!